I hear you phunguy!! Who would have known you would have to play games in your marriage?? Not fun games either! My wife went from changing her name back to her maiden name, to being nice last night and today. Maybe she actaully went and did it, who knows?? I told her where the key to the safe was yesterday when she asked. I figure it's her choice!! I had my mental break down yesterday!! Much better today!!
Me:44 EXW 44 Wonderful Children M11, T14 BD 6/14 OM Confirmed Divorce Final 2/25/16 "It works if you work it!"
The next time she sheds a few tears, are you going to ask her if she's okay?
I saw you were still questioning why she had sex with you, so I guess that means you couldn't accept what I said about women, especially WW's, using sex as a way to keep control in the stitch. You want to believe she caved to her "urges". Oh well.
This latest thing she's pulled about, "I was going to do something nice for you, but now you've done this!" is total BS script. It is usually heard at least once in every stitch.
Please hear what I am saying, it is all about control. She wants to keep you dangling on the end of her rope. Why don't you just drop the rope? Ever heard of it?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
No I've not Sandi, but I understand I think, I'm about to drop it right now!
I know I'm not perfect I know I've made mistakes, I know I didn't listen, but I sure as hell didn't sign up to be used, manipulated, and taken advantage of. I'm at the end of the rope and I think I just dropped it.
Me 41 Wife 38 T20 M13 S8 D3 Bomb 1/26/15 A confirmed 2/19/15
I'm becoming quite angry with her. Little things I've noticed are starting to anger me when we are around each other. One thing she's started to do in the last week or two is jump in the middle of me dong something. I was doing the dishes the other day and she jumped in front of the sink and took over, last night I was about to take the D3 to brush her teeth before bed I got up and she jumped up grabbed her and took her to the bathroom. I was dumbfounded, didn't say anything but uust blown way with her behavior.
Maybe I am done. Maybe it's time to get an attorney and give her what she's asking for. Drop the rope and take care of me and the kids as I have been for the last year or more.
S8 has a soccer game tonight she suggested we all go get dinner after. I agreed because she said this in front of S8. But I am dreading the evening now.
Me 41 Wife 38 T20 M13 S8 D3 Bomb 1/26/15 A confirmed 2/19/15
Hey Phunguy, I used to notice this type of behavior before. It all happened when I was basically doing everything around the house and with the kids (and actually feeling good about it). This made her feel obsolete and unnecessary - she said this to me. So she would at times take over to show that even though she was "living her own life" she also didn't want to be pushed out. She wanted it all.
Me-45 W-44 S21, S18, D15 T-27, M-21 BD Jan 2014 PA revealed March 2014 In-house separation - April 2015 I filed - Aug 2015 She moved out Oct 2015
Hi U-Turn, Seems reasonable. I'm not trying to figure it out right now. I just know it's weird and it seems intentional.
Tonight was actually OK but hey I like sushi and love my kids so it was a fun evening in that regard. Plus a win for the boy in soccer is always enjoyable. I'm so proud of him! It's weird to pretend and play nice like we are a family.
Me 41 Wife 38 T20 M13 S8 D3 Bomb 1/26/15 A confirmed 2/19/15
The next time she sheds a few tears, are you going to ask her if she's okay?
I saw you were still questioning why she had sex with you, so I guess that means you couldn't accept what I said about women, especially WW's, using sex as a way to keep control in the stitch. You want to believe she caved to her "urges". Oh well.
This latest thing she's pulled about, "I was going to do something nice for you, but now you've done this!" is total BS script. It is usually heard at least once in every stitch.
Please hear what I am saying, it is all about control. She wants to keep you dangling on the end of her rope. Why don't you just drop the rope? Ever heard of it?
No she cry all she needs to.
I see now what the sex was and I will no longer go down that cheese less tunnel. I'm fairly certain what she was referrrring to do nice for me was have sex with me. Since then have had some flirtatious exchanges and she's told me she wants to have sex with me. I've played along but as of right now I've made a boundary and moral decision.
She definitely is seeking control. She opened a bank account today and it's become clear to me that she is seeking control. Next I presume will be fights about money..
Rope is dropped, I'm not fighting n this tug of war. I quit. She wins. I will just file and go from there.
Me 41 Wife 38 T20 M13 S8 D3 Bomb 1/26/15 A confirmed 2/19/15
I went for a nice run before church this morning. It seems to be my favorite thing lately. W came to church with the kids and I. After we went to IHOP. This playing nice house is so weird. There's this awkward tension that is not acknowledged but there. Odd glances, darting eyes, occasional compliments about "good daddy" "nice daddy". I just don't understand.
I just have PMA with the kids sort of ignoring her. She was odd today but seems sad this evening so far, blurting out from time to time about her job and stress. She slept a good part of the afternoon till about 5pm. I played with D3 after her nap. S8 played outside w th friends, I'm glad he had some free time today to just be a boy. As usual in cooked a nice dinner and did dishes. She will give kids bath, almost like our normal Sunday schedule.
I am really struggling with the reality of what seems inevitable. I never saw my life going in this direction. The powerlessness and seeming lack of control I have in going forward in D is scary. I don't like it, the feeling the thought, it just seems like failure to me and I cannot accept failure. I really need to work on acceptance this week.
Me 41 Wife 38 T20 M13 S8 D3 Bomb 1/26/15 A confirmed 2/19/15
