Trying to Follow DB & DR

[Miman2]

Thanks for taking the time to reply Sandi.

Yeah that makes sense. I guess what I was trying to say is I felt the books kinda leave out how to make the transition from LRT into reconciliation. It felt like there's two separate modes in the books. One the spouse in question is still around and you can DB/DR everything or Two they're not around and you LRT. So the question I guess I had was does LRT generally just lead straight into reconciliation when the spouse is really ready to make a commitment to the M?

I realize things will move slowly, I worry a bit because she was supposed to start a new job in a different state in August so I feel like I'm on a timeline. That leads me to have a couple of panic attacks during the day, even a month after the bomb.

I guess my main concern is the OM and his wife fine with accepting my W into their relationship and so it seems all 3 of them are making a happy life together. I keep thinking they're filling her head with what she wants to hear and will keep her "happy". They might live 5 hours away so they only see her on weekends but they text throughout the day. So there seems to be very little chance of her feeling guilty or like she made the wrong decision. I keep praying that something will turn around but until then I guess I just have to keep DB/DR everyday and take it one day at a time.