That's awesome, I'm sure that felt great to have that attention. Its also good you realized your not in the best place to be ready for dating right now and turned down the offer. Be proud that you did the right thing for yourself.
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
It really was a good feeling. I have been in such a funk lately about everything with my W, that I didn't think I was going to get out of it. But this girl last night was a riot. Before I knew it we were laughing and joking, flirting, etc.
I may not be ready to date, but I will be keeping her # for when I am. We will see one another next week again at the cooking class.
Me: 38 W: 32 S10 D6 T: 10 (02/2004) M: 7 (12/2007) Separation 02/2015 OM confirmed 01/2015, D mentioned 12/2014 D finalized 9/2016
So my WAW is going to watch our left behind dogs so the kids and I can get away for a night. I rented a hotel room, planned a whole itinerary and got everything packed. When we stopped for breakfast she sent me a text asking how the drive was going. I wrote her back and said it was going fine and the kids were doing well. She then asked if I was excited about the trip, just me and the kids, for the first time. I told her I was, but that it was weird not having her with. About 20 minutes later she text back saying "You have to stop saying stuff like that to me." So, I guess were going two steps forward and one step back. And honestly, I haven't said anything close to that in well over a month.
Me: 38 W: 32 S10 D6 T: 10 (02/2004) M: 7 (12/2007) Separation 02/2015 OM confirmed 01/2015, D mentioned 12/2014 D finalized 9/2016
Thank you U-Turn. We are having a blast up North. My wife and I took in a second cousin when he was 16 (he is 22 now, he calls me Dad and my wife Mom) he lives up here and my kids consider him their older brother. So he came over to the hotel to surprise them and swim with my S & D. My AS came from a dysfunctional broken home, hence the reason he came to live with us. My D has caused this man as much pain as it has me.
So it's nice having the "kids" all hanging out together again. It's made this trip really special, plus I took a TON of pictures and have been posting them on FB for my family/friends to see. Kids are laughing, smiling and having fun, I am doing the same thing, yet dying a little on the inside.
So we have our first divorce mediation session next week. Anyone go to one of these before or know much about them? Our mediator said he will ONLY take payments from us because he doesn't think we will go through with the D. The guy has been doing this for 25 years, so that gave me a little hope. But what am I walking into?
Me: 38 W: 32 S10 D6 T: 10 (02/2004) M: 7 (12/2007) Separation 02/2015 OM confirmed 01/2015, D mentioned 12/2014 D finalized 9/2016
So, the WW knew I was going to be back with the kids today around noon. We usually do the "Sunday handoff" at church otherwise.
While I was an hour away (about 10:20) she called, fuming, screaming and swearing at me "Where the f#$@ are you with MY kids you motherF@#$#$!" I said calmly "1 I am an hour away from your place, 2 they are OUR children and 3 do not EVER talk to me like that! I do not talk to YOU like that, you have NO right to talk to ME!" she then hung up.
She then text a minute later saying...
"You need to text me when you're about 15 min away because I'm not home. Or let me know where to meet you to get my children"
I wrote her back and said "They are OUR children. I am 70 miles away, so be at your place in an hour.
I got to her house in less time than I though, waited 10 minutes before calling her. She said she was a couple minutes away and showed up in 15 (about 30 minutes after I said I would be there). She didn't say a word, just walked into her house, angry and upset.
I gave my kids a hug, told them that I had fun and left.
About 2 minutes later she sent me this.
"I've treated you unfairly today. I am sorry. There are some things bothering me that we will need to discuss at some point."
My response was "You were way out of line and have been very disrespectful towards me, more often than not. I will NOT tolerate it anymore. We can talk whenever you like."
Her response. "That's just fine. We can try to make this work and we're going to have days like this I imagine. I don't agree that I'm disrespectful "often" and it doesn't really matter to me anymore whether you agree or not since you've always had such a screwed up view of who I am."
My response was "We are going to have days like this. Where frustration and confusion set in. Also, I have never had a screwed up opinion of who you were. I was always proud of you. I was always your biggest cheerleader." and left it at that.
She is very self-conscious and I know that any criticism would send her into a tailspin. I think that is why she was so easily converted to a WW. Like seriously, it was like being on eggshells. She could say "What do you think of these boots with these pants" and there was no right answer. If I said she looked "fine" she would then decide that I was wrong or if I said that they didn't look good together, it would send her in a rage. Ah, fun times.
Me: 38 W: 32 S10 D6 T: 10 (02/2004) M: 7 (12/2007) Separation 02/2015 OM confirmed 01/2015, D mentioned 12/2014 D finalized 9/2016
Guess I am still in the dinosaur age, but I don't think these types of conversations need to take place through texting.
What could you have done differently when she called you cursing and using all kinds of vulgar name-calling?
When you told her you would no longer tolerate her talking to you in that manner (which is certainly a needed boundary), what did you have in mind to use as a consequence if she does not honor it?
You cannot reason with a WW, and if she's so angry she is throwing that kind of fit.......it is a waste of breath to go into any explanation with her.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
