Complex No. 6 - The turtle and the rabbit

[Complex]

She also told me again how sorry she is. That she loves me and cares for me but just not that way and everything was wrong from the beginning.
She wants to help me to find a place, even pay me alimony.
I didn't respond to her "offerings".
I set my boundaries well but it's just so damn frustrating.

Trigger today was probably I walked into the kitchen this morning with underwear. Lol. Since we are no couple I cannot do this she said.

I'm just sooo mad again. It's so ridiculous. It's nothing but a character question, a question of what a commitment means. The best thing is that she believes I will understand "one day". Really?
How deep does she has to fall to understand herself one day?

I still understand her position tho. How can she believe in it already after all that happened. She's not in my head either. She admitted she basically dumped our M in like 3 months. But she KNOWS it's not the right thing so she wants to move on quickly before everything gets worse.

I almost sent her this text, I didn't tho:
I hope you understand that I gave my personal position an awful lot of thought too. I don't want a superficial relationship either. I want a deep one too, one of the next level. I wasn't ready for that in the past. Now I am. I am absolutely convinced we can build it and I value my vows. BUT by no means I'll pursue or force you to do anything anymore. You are you. Never would I ever want to change that ever again! You are a free human being. But so am I.