When we were first dating my W hated the idea of lying. Anymore it seems like that's all she's doing to me
I would like to address this to all the LBH'S.
When a WW makes the first step through that gateway and compromises her integrity, then the next step is easier, then the next, and the next. I remember the first time I called OM. We had been IM on the computer for a while and he gave me his number. I left my house to call him. As I held the phone in my hand, I was saying, "This is crazy, this is crazy"! But I dialed his number while my heart was racing from the excitement. That step led to others, and in a very short time I was behaving as though I had conducted that style all my life.
The old W has disappeared and a new wayward b'tch has taken her place. Never underestimate what she would do. I hear men say, "My W would never do that b/c she's not that kind of person". Well, neither was I. However, I became that person, and if you have a WW, she will, too.
In order for her to become who she once was, that waywardness has to die all the way down to the root. It is very unpleasant for her, and it is a process much like pregnancy, labor, and giving birth (which that takes nine months, and this may take longer), but my point is it can't happen overnight. She can't just "snap" back, no more than she can spit a baby out the minute she conceives. She has to go through the "morning sickness" and the burden of the pregnancy. She has to deal with the misery she experiences. Then comes the real work. The LABOR! She thinks she's dying! It's too hard. She can't do, and wants to give up. She has to keep pushing and working to accomplish this birthing process. Then she reaps the blessed joy and realizes she has been given a precious, priceless, treasure. (I won't take time to express all my anologies to each of these steps, b/c you can figure it out. . )
Many want to bypass this process, but she can't have the results without going through the process. Another way of looking at this process can be comparable to her having to die to that wayward person she became, and give life, energy, and purpose to the person she once was. I used the word "die" instead of "shed" or "throw away", etc., b/c it is painful. If a LBS doesn't believe that it should be all that hard, then they clearly don't understand the transformation that took place and now has to reverse.
This is my main reason when doubting a WW who "suddenly" has decided to end her A and stay in the M. She's having sex with her H (maybe, not always) or she's telling him to just give her time and space and "Let's just put this all behind us and move forward". She may, or may not have shed a few tears to convince the H she wasn't playing him. However, she never truely shows signs of deep remorse. It doesn't usually take long that her bad attitude shines through and things quickly go down hill again.
She can't get there that quickly or easily, b/c it is a process that takes time. I warn all H's to be very cautious about letting your WW back into the M too easily. Some of you are so focused on just getting her back.......you will take her anyway you can have her. If you do, the problems are far from over, and another A could be waiting down the road, or she'll tell you that you have to accept living as roommates.
The root problem has to be resolved. The reasons that led to the A has to be reconciled. I believe it is wise to find a pro-marriage therapist specialized in couples healing from an A and trying to save their M.
Unfortunately, my LBH refused to go with me to counseling of any kind. Therefore, the DB board was my therapy, and God bless those who guided me through one of the most difficult times of my life.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
That step led to others, and in a very short time I was behaving as though I had conducted that style all my life. 
. ) 
