I'm here again

[lost18]

I'm not familiar with your whole sitch but just looking at your signature looks like it's been pretty rocky for quite a while.

I've been listening to a lot of podcasts from a different marriage saving site (very helpful especially when I'm in the car). Last night I listened to one about when to give up. He suggested that you make a list of all the reasons you want to save your marriage.

Ex. I want to stop the divorce, I don't want to be alone, to keep your family together for your kids, you see potential for a happy life together.

Separate your list into Fear based reasons (I don't want to be alone) and aspirational reasons (I see potential in our R). If your reasons are mostly Fear based you will lose the determination to fight for the marriage sooner because the fear will fade, aspirational based reasons will keep you going longer because they are coming from your spirit. You should use that list to keep you going.

He continues to say that fighting for your marriage is a noble thing, and even if you give up without saving it you know you have done the best you can and you should commend yourself for that because that alone is more than most people do.

I know this is a very short version of a 30 minute podcast, but I hope it helps at least a little.

Also, another tidbit from a different podcast which is hard to do but makes sense..."Focus on the process, not the outcome." So work on yourself, GAL, do your 180's, focus on that, the outcome is out of your control because your H still has to make a choice.