For Newcomer LBH with a Wayward Wife

[MCS]

I never verbally lied about my H, however, I did take the truth and give my own negative viewpoint and make him sound a lot worse than he really was........and especially when I was in the A. I left the impression he was worse than he really was. Yes, I did it to justify my own actions and for having the resentment I had toward him. Actually, I had put him down for years whenever I talked about him to a couple of my closest family members. I called it getting it off my chest b/c my H would never talk about our problems "with" me. So, I had been justifying or trying to get emotional support by putting him down as the true bad guy in our MR.
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I hope I answered your question.

Sandi,

Yes, this answers my question and I see the same things to the extent that W has stretched the truth so far to the point that anyone (our friends, her friends, her family) that knows me has started to defend me because it's at such an extreme. At that point, W stops talking to them about the sitch and then has tended to alienate herself from them. We're probably talking about >10 different people that tried to be an ear for her in the beginning. It's gotten to the point that she was complaining to me that no one cares about her and everyone treats her like 'poop.'

Friends have told me that during our M, W would say things to them that seemed like they were embellished, but they didn't know if maybe I was being that way or that W was just making a bigger deal about things. Once W left and folks started to talk to me, I see how different the story my W was saying compared to what actually happened.

Thanks for your insight, I see that W is having the downward slide of her fantasy world falling apart, but has not started to reconcile the 'truth' from the picture that she has painted of me in her head. I've been slow and steady, unwavering in my approach of calm and collected and it infuriates her, since this doesn't support her 'story' of how I'm a monster.

I hope that she'll eventually get to the point that she works through these feelings, even if we don't get back together because it's bled so much into any interaction we have, including plans about kids, schedules, exchanges, etc.

Thanks for the thread, it's helped me out immensely