[susana4]

Had a call with my DB coach earlier and she was VERY positive about my sitch.

-We discussed ML, and I told her I was confused about whether it was right to do or not. She said I should look at whether it brings us closer together or not. She wrote down all the different things I'd heard and were turning over in my head and read it back to me and then asked me to pick what stood out first as correct - I picked that it brings us closer together, and she said she was glad I picked that one.

-She asked what's made me feel like we've drawn closer lately (spending time together, him seeming concerned about my feelings, him wanting to know more about me) and what I feel like I need more of - I said time together. She suggested inviting him to do something at the weekend at some point, e.g. something I find out is going on nearby.

-She asked what's most frustrating for me right now and I said not knowing what he's feeling. We spoke about how i can encourage him to talk more about his feelings and made these goals: ask some more open ended questions, talk a bit about my feelings (not too much) and take responsibility for being argumentative in the past.

-Other goals: keep doing what's been working. Keep up with my changes, keep going out and GALing, continue to dress up and look good, keep being flirty

-She said it's a little risky for her to say but she believes he's "more in than out"

-She asked if our ML last night felt like we were connected/if it felt loving (it did).

-She said I am going in the right direction and it sounds like we are reconnecting.

-She asked what would make me feel like we are H and W again and I said him sleeping in the bed, and him saying ILY. She suggested asking him to come back to the bed but said I need to be prepared for him to say no, I said I didn't think I could handle that right now, so she said to spend some time thinking about it and prepare myself. She said he might be feeling guilty and not want to be pushy, or he might be doing it out of habit, but she pointed out he moved to the sofa when things were really bad and now things seem better. About the ILY, she said she thinks it's coming but it's scary to him for some reason and she thinks he really loves me, deeply.

-She asked me to make a list of signs he is developing/working on himself: he's reconnecting with friends and family, he's looking at why he's afraid of conflict, he's been saying no and trying to people please less, he's recently saying more what he wanted and not just doing what he thought I wanted

-She said it's pretty clear that the issues were with him, and not with the M, but it seems like he's improving

-She said she has a lot of hope for us and she thinks we will be a really strong couple for having been through this and he's seeing me in a really positive light