Confused 2

[Joe46]

Now she is running off to change her last name. Buy a car!! All because I got my own cell phone plan and stated I don't want to be around her type of work anymore!! WTH???? Last night I felt good because she was going off on me being a bad person and everything else. I did not respond to any of it. I am tired of going back and forth. I decided I was just going to go to bed. The only time I talked to her was when she was taking off to the ER. I felt confident in what I was doing!! Now I am back to feeling guilty for causing this whole mess!!

I need I need to clarify the first part of this post because it may have been misunderstood. This stuff and emails and texts are misunderstood alot. I was not enforcing my boundary to get a rise out of her or try to get my way. This post was more of a question. I could not believe that just because I stated my boundary and than decided to get my own cell phone plan that now my wife is freaking out about it. I did not think it was like signing divorce papers. It was just something I was doing for myself. The real reason I got my own plan was because I was not sure if she might just take off one day. I was watching out for myself. She acted like she did not want to be in the marriage anymore.

And cat, I did answer my daughter with exactly what you would have said. I answered her for the past 6 month like that.

I also agree with your emotional abuse part. I can see how some of the things that I may have said over and over could make her feel that way. But I was supportive and very positive about alot more during our marriage. I am a slow learner, but I started to see what I was doing. It is hard and it hurts when someone thinks you have emotionally abused them when you thought you were a good husband.

I feel very confused because some people think that the older kids knowing is not a bad thing. Others think it is. If you all could experience what I have dealt with because of these calls, you might be able to understand better. Some sick and bad things have gone on during these calls. I have also been concerned for our safety. What is to stop one of these guys from becoming obsessed with her and trying to find her. Have seen the Dateline thing about this?