Newbie needs advice and encouragement

[Kramer]

Hey Kramer- A few thoughts here:

You say..

I'm doing my best to GAL and remain fairly dark, but the depression is mounting

But your posts are peppered with texts and conversations you have with her.

1. Why does she keep trying to make me feel guilty about moving forward with my life, after she initiated these proceedings?
2. How can I have these conversations with her without coming across as a d1ck?
3. How can I maintain the high road without being drawn into petty side arguments about our relationship issues?

I don't think you're really dark, Kramer. Do you have a L? I know you said you haven't been served - but it sounds to me like all these conversations about legal issues and the SUV should be handled by lawyers.

That would be my response to your #2 and #3. Stop having the conversations. You don't have young children together so there shouldn't be much to talk about.

As to #1 - these types of things exist in all the situations with a WAS. It's justification to make them feel better about their actions.

Just my .02

raliced,

You are probably right. I am trying to justify my communication with her by trying to limit things to legal issues, but it is still fairly regular communication. In my mind, I am staying dark by not pleading, bargaining, etc but in reality I am still in regular cionversation with her.

Is it best to go COMPLETELY dark? Part of me worries that this will push her away once and for all, but then again, she's pretty much gone already.

Regarding lawyer, no I do not have one yet. Our case is so straightforward that it doesn't make a lot of financial sense to spend $5000 on a lawyer. However, it would allow me to defer the legal conversations and get me out of the loop.