Alpha and WAW - part 2

[alpha99]

Hmmm interesting times.

Took kids back from school and spent about an hour there.

Only MIL was there when I arrived. She made me tea and gave me biscuits and was nice with me. I read with the kids and played with lego with them.

W turned up and was in quite a good mood. I gave my warm hello as she came into the room. She gave a nice hello back.

Her phone had gone off whilst she was out and so she charged it and checked messages. She had a call from her friend (the other school mum she went shopping with). It turned out later that they're out for tea this evening. But more importantly I overheard her telling her that she has a date to move into the rented place. I was playing with the kids in the same room at the time and tried not to overhear but it appeared that this Sunday she is moving in. she said on the phone that she can't wait to her friend.

She was quite friendly with me during my time there today. She initiated conversation a few times. Once about a mutual friend who has moved abroad, a few times about household bills etc (obviously with an eye to her having to pay these soon in her new place), BUT she also asked me how I was, whether I had had a good day.

I am not reading too much into this as if it was some sudden change of heart. It would appear that her upbeat mood is simply because she has had the all clear on moving into her new place.

She didn't tell me herself that she had a moving date. As I left we stood on the front step. she asked if I wanted to have the kids tomorrow and asked if I had plans. I said I love having them and had no plans during the daytime. W is taking D5 to ballet in the morning (but hasn't realised I have her ballet stuff at home) and mentioned she might go to the cinema afterwards. I said just let me know what you're doing and I can have them for a bit if you like. My hope is that in the morning when she realises she doesn't have the ballet stuff, she will have to get in touch with me and maybe we could all go to the cinema together. I certainly wasn't going to ask for an invite though.

As we stood on the doorstep I said it's nice to see you happy (as she was almost beaming). I said 'in fact, you seem particularly happy today'. She made no mention of the rented place, said she was out for tea with her friend, BUT ALSO mentioned that she doesn't want to fight with me as it doesn't get us anywhere. She said she wants to be nice with me for the children.

I left having mixed feelings about this. It is great that she is being a bit nicer towards me, and if she weren't to argue, be nasty etc towards me from now on that would be great. The downside of all this is that she appears to be so happy because things are going well for her. She is moving to a new place and is all excited about it, and doesn't seem in the slightest to be bothered about our R. When I backslid the other day she said then that she had done all her grieving over the relationship at Christmas time and now felt fine.

I suppose if we start to get on better it stands to reason that we may spend more time together in the coming weeks 'as a family'. If that is the case it gives me more opportunity to work on myself and show these changes off to her. Certainly it seems that for things to get better we would need to get on with each other better than she has been towards me recently.

Also once she is in her own place, I will no doubt be there each day to see the kids (before and after school) BUT without the awkwardness and distraction of having her parents there all the time. They have been nice but W relies on them really to cook tea for kids, mind them a lot etc. When they are gone that support network will be reduced and she will have to shoulder the responsibility. I think at this point financial concerns, feelings of loneliness might set in.

one month ago, at the time A was exposed, she said that she wanted to work things out but even so would need to rent her own place. A lot has happened since then and we seem to have gotten quite far away from those claims, but they are in the back of my mind - I would happily sell our house and move in with her in the rented place at some point in the future to be together as a family again.

I gave a little wave goodbye as I said goodbye and left. W waved back and said goodbye.

What would you make of all this? Should I be happy? Is this a necessary step in the long process to hopefully making things better. Is there reason to be down at all? In her own place W is of course free (as she sees it) to have anyone around who she likes. I do believe A is over now. My own feeling is more of being down due to it seeming like she really is moving to her own place, talk of house sale will undoubtedly follow, and possession splitting. I will try hard to get through those moments in the hope that we can slowly, slowly begin to work things out at some point in the future.

Sorry for rambling.