My first efforts at posting with quotes were dire!
What I mean is that, wanting to work on you, your M, and build trust, love your W as she wants to be loved are all matters core to DB. You have seen Sandi guidelines?
I carried those around with me until I knew them by heart. I have printed them and they are laminated.
If my M is not going to work out then I will have done everything I can think of and will be the best person I can be going forwards, even if there is no R with an M, there is an R for V with herself. If it makes sense V is standing for V!
There is also a book called 5 Love Languages which is about loving another they would like to be loved.
My question still stands though about the control. How exactly are you working on this?
V
Last edited by Vanilla; 03/13/1504:53 PM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
I stole this from Sandi's thread I think it was posted by Patient Man. Vanilla's post above is right.
This is a great couple of sentences. I think it might help you today. It is helping me a lot right now.
"If you are in a situation where the game is rigged so that you cannot win, it ultimately doesn't matter. It only matters that you stay true to yourself, your morals, your boundaries, your version of YOU that you can live with."
Me 41 Wife 38 T20 M13 S8 D3 Bomb 1/26/15 A confirmed 2/19/15
Cat, the last thing I ever wanted to do was cause anyone emotional abuse!! I would love to go to marriage counseling with my wife or do whatever it took so I don't do anything that would make her feel that way.
Me:44 EXW 44 Wonderful Children M11, T14 BD 6/14 OM Confirmed Divorce Final 2/25/16 "It works if you work it!"
I am letting go. I would have texted to my wife back and forth last night trying get her to see my point and control the whole arguement. I did nothing. I have not been pushing son to figure out what he wants to do because I think he should. I have been patient and supportive. I am reading the five love languages. I am making lists of things in the past that I have tried to control and asked myself what I was trying to get from it and how my fears were fueling it.
Me:44 EXW 44 Wonderful Children M11, T14 BD 6/14 OM Confirmed Divorce Final 2/25/16 "It works if you work it!"
Thank you phunguy! I needed that. To be honest I felt good this morning and last night even though my wife was acting the way she was. I decided it was her choice. I was not going to argue. I told her I would be glad to take her to the doctor last night and again this morning. She did not want me to. Her choice. I told her I hope she feels better and let me know what the doctor says. I do care.
Me:44 EXW 44 Wonderful Children M11, T14 BD 6/14 OM Confirmed Divorce Final 2/25/16 "It works if you work it!"
I have a feeling wife is going to try getting S19 on her side. She is having lunch with him today. She feels me and D are against her. That is so far from the truth. I am not playing sides or trying to get anyone against wife at all. I would rather NO kids be involved with this at all. But I am not lying to the older kids anymore about this job.
Me:44 EXW 44 Wonderful Children M11, T14 BD 6/14 OM Confirmed Divorce Final 2/25/16 "It works if you work it!"
