I'm having a rough day. I just feel like he hates me. Without that anger defense in left with a ton of hurt and self-hatred. Why he can talk to an ex, and not me. Why I'm gone for two days for work and he doesn't miss me, but mentions arguing with me in his head. I feel far from loved. This morning in a disappointed outburst he threw our relationship up again - why are we here, why are we doing this? It's the 3rd time. We talked about this at counseling, that this is traumatic and not fair.
I'm just tired of this. I don't know why we're doing it. Not today.
Mid 30's Psych-abusive M with violent tantrums from XH D 9/15; NC forever on
