My wife is very stubborn. I have asked her a ton of times to be careful with weight lose pills as they are bad for her kidneys. I know she struggles with her weight. I try my best to support her. I never say anything because I think she is beautiful. I have told her over and over how attracted I am to her. I have volunteered to walk with her, exercise with her. Eat the same food, anything to support her. But I want her to be around for the rest of our lives. The weight loss pills are bad on her kidneys.
Me:44 EXW 44 Wonderful Children M11, T14 BD 6/14 OM Confirmed Divorce Final 2/25/16 "It works if you work it!"
W has made her own choices, Joe has made his and stated his boundary.
A difficult situation will always make us doubt our abilities, question ourselves, look to our own behaviour. Joe nothing you did made W take any actions or behave in any way. w has the job of looking after herself, she took the pills drank the coke and stressed her body.
If W was emotionally abused then she has the choice (like I have) to state her boundary on it. It Ws choice to go wayward not yours.
I believe Cat is referring to minor children (but I will not second guess) and I agree with her statements. Adult children manage their own R any way and I trust you are letting D do this for herself.
Remember to hold WW accountable for her behaviour and not for her person, as they say in my church, hate the sin, love the sinner.
Joe, you got this. V
Last edited by Vanilla; 03/13/1503:26 PM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
I told her last night that I wasn't even mad at her, I was not happy with what she was doing. She said that I think she is a horrible person. I said that I did not. I just don't like what she is doing right now.
Me:44 EXW 44 Wonderful Children M11, T14 BD 6/14 OM Confirmed Divorce Final 2/25/16 "It works if you work it!"
Now she is running off to change her last name. Buy a car!! All because I got my own cell phone plan and stated I don't want to be around her type of work anymore!! WTH???? Last night I felt good because she was going off on me being a bad person and everything else. I did not respond to any of it. I am tired of going back and forth. I decided I was just going to go to bed. The only time I talked to her was when she was taking off to the ER. I felt confident in what I was doing!! Now I am back to feeling guilty for causing this whole mess!!
Me:44 EXW 44 Wonderful Children M11, T14 BD 6/14 OM Confirmed Divorce Final 2/25/16 "It works if you work it!"
I told her last night that I wasn't even mad at her, I was not happy with what she was doing. She said that I think she is a horrible person. I said that I did not. I just don't like what she is doing right now.
Excellent Joe.
Guilt is tough and let WW react as she will. It is called spew, an ugly name and the verbal contents are intended to be hurtful. It's from the standard script. Stay firm.
Keep calmly breathing and rest.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
When I talked to older D yesterday, I told her she needs to deal with her mom and whatever they are talking about. I told her the truth about how I felt and that I have been working to save the marriage for a long time. Other than that all I did was state my feelings about the job she was doing. D is old enough to deal with her mother. Especially since mom is involving D in all this and telling her things that are not true.
As far as me working on trying to better myself so I can be a better husband, I am learning from DR, Love is Tough, Love Languages and Hold on to you N.U.T.S. I am praying every night. I am validating her feelings if she ever shares them. And I am taking in her spew, but not arguing about it. I am not responding to it right now.
My thinking at this point is that I am wanting to stay married, work on our marriage, build trust if it is possible and learn to love my wife like she wants to be loved. But I have also accepted the fact that it may not happen that way. I have prepared myself that if we have to divorce than I will do my best for my kids and love them the best I can. I will also learn from the mistakes I made and try to better myself.
Me:44 EXW 44 Wonderful Children M11, T14 BD 6/14 OM Confirmed Divorce Final 2/25/16 "It works if you work it!"
Don't be surprised if I post alot today!! V you are great!! Cat thank you for your comment.
The other thing that started the mess last night was that I told my wife that I have to work Sat, basketball practice Sunday afternoon, I was going to church Sunday morning( which I have not done since I was 12) and I have a work trip next Tuesday and will be back on Wednesday. I told her I was just communicating with her.
Man my horoscope was spot on for me today!!!!
Me:44 EXW 44 Wonderful Children M11, T14 BD 6/14 OM Confirmed Divorce Final 2/25/16 "It works if you work it!"
