Yeah ... I am at that point .. do I stand, do I just move on, contrary to what the MLC'r including mine says about the whole "I haven't loved you for XX years" I don't buy it, I just can not think that 24 years together was a fluke. I just do not know, the logic part of my brain thinks I would be far better off without her .... but she still owns my heart, possibly she just might always though I would never tell her that at this point, it hurts just the same.
Whatever it is that I had out there dangling in desperation I am so fortunate that you seen something and decided to stick this out with me. I will forever be in your debt ... along with everyone here ... I am truly blessed.
Well, yesterday W was actually kind of out of sorts ... pretty heavy TM exchange, nothing deep but some joking about S, very talkative to be honest .. I returned serve but kept it reeled in .. no expectations. Went to softball last night and took S with me, W agreed to pick him up from the game. She arrived and we walked down to her... I gave S a hug goodbye told her goodbye and just then some of my team members arrived ... after the game I get my phone and W sent some nasty's .... looks like someone was super jealous. I should have just let it go ... but it kind of pissed me off ... so I told her I did not appreciate the TM , she fired back about me showing S how to respect her. I stopped and did not reply, I really wanted to tell her I was not interested in respect lessons from her considering what she has done the past year ... I realized that was judgmental and anything I would say was just going to fuel it more .. I have changed because I would have never just let something like this go. Made me realize that I need to get over this, its going to take a long time... I have the forever trump card in my head and the anger is not far from that place, but I did not bring it up, I let it go ... baby steps.
