My Wife Wants to Work on Things - Any Advice?

[Sherman333]

I explain exactly what I did and I think I can explain why. I'm focused on my 180s too. I'm still working out which is one of her biggest complaints. That I let myself get fat.

For reacting to emotions and not thinking, I can't disagree. But its threading a needle with a rope sometimes.

Here's a bunch of other spew topics

That I'll fail again... I can't change.
I got fat and unattractive... she's not feeling the passion
I killed the marriage... Dreamkiller... I kill all her dreams
Not specifically her boss...but a conglomeration of a lot of OM. He was just the catalyst.
That I shouldn't lie about why we're getting D. It's all on me
That I had female friend waiting in wings.
That female friend can help with my fashion
W is livid
Said to enjoy my pity parties next weekend as I lie about her and situation.
That my female friend would take the house when the new R falls apart.

The most telling thing was that she stated that she can't work on herself with others... needs to be alone.

I stayed mostly calm. But let my my anger get the best of me a little...Some of my responses during the discussion...
She needs to step up... if there's an us, I'll move mountains. If there's not then I'm moving on.
Also that she needs to start addressing her issue directly or I'm continuing with the D.
That she's been using me
We're not going to be friends... but exs. she said amicable exs, I was non-committal
Same old dance... that she should trust what I'm telling her on my preference.
Told her that my story would be we just grew apart. Anything else, our son can say.
I stated that I need to start handling getting the boys ready for school completely and not relying on her.

The bus pulled up and my back was to the window for a moment. The boys were supposed to be watching but didn't get out of the house right away. she pounced on this as yet another failure, that if I was really serious about saving things I would be hyper vigilante on making sure everything is taken care of... if they'd missed the bus I would have just dropped them off.