VGE -what kind of cancer do you have? How long ago was the first appearance and how was it treated? I'll research whatever I can that might be helpful.
I know it sounds impossible to do, but for your own sake, right now, you have to just let go of H. "Let go or be dragged" was my mantra. You have very important work to do healing yourself, and that is so much more important than anything having to do with your H.
I can relate a bit, as my ex had an affair, we reconciled, had some of the best years of our marriage, then he fell down the rabbit hole of MLC and we divorced. I also had health problems (not life threatening) which H couldn't deal w, and also came to realize that my H had always had a certain selfish streak.
My life is good now, once you let go you may realize how much energy it has been taking to walk on eggshells around him all the time. Let go....if he's meant to come back eventually he will, although I suspect by that time you won't want him back (I wouldn't have mine back now for all the tea in China). But you don't have to make any decision like that now, just let go and focus on your healing.
