Right now I am afraid that me drawing back the support will make here angry.
You have expressed the fear most of the newcomer LBH's have. They don't want to make her angry, and they are afraid pulling back will push her away. To be very clear about my referring to "support", I do not mean you are not to pay child support. You take care of your children! I am referring to other things for her that does not fall under child support. Mainly, I am talking about emotional and/or physical support while she is in this EA, and especially while living under the same roof.
You can't walk on egg shells, afraid of setting off her anger. She is going to be angry at you.....even if she has to create something to be angry about. That's what WW's do! You will be the bad guy in her eyes, regardless of how hard you try to do everything to please her. Women have an acute sense to a man who buckles under fear of her wrath. Guess what? It makes her act much worse toward him. However, she will respect a man who stands up to her and is not afraid of how angry she gets. We women are attracted to confident men. We may get mad and the man may never know, that secretly, we were drawn to his male confidence.
Actually, pulling away from her is the best thing you can do at this time. She probably did crave romance, but she doesn't want it from "you" right now. Trying to pursue that route, will only set you back. I can speak from experience, and I read those books, too. Some people may laugh at it and think it's nonsense, but it can lead to more complicated emotions in the woman when she feels starved for passion. When some OM comes along and says something to cause that fluttering in her, her entire body wants to respond. The foundation is already there, waiting for the right moment for OM to seize. This OM is giving your W the emotional passion she wants, and maybe more. He is fulfilling part of her needs, and you are fulfilling the other needs (such as the comforts of home, food, clothes, etc.) She gets needs met from both men.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
