Wow, it's hard to hear how much pain you're in this morning, Maybell. I won't respond point-for-point because I know you know many of the answers, in your heart. I know that because you've wisely advised me when I've posted similar things.
Keep in mind - you don't have to figure out the next 15 years in one day! That would scare me to think about that, too I know it's hard for you to see through all of the muck being heaved on you lately, but you're doing an amazing job at life right now. You're focused on the shortcomings (failed M, blow-ups with D11, AWOL WAH, etc.), but we've all been inspired by your victories (restarting a career, steadily piecing together a parenting plan for D11, still being a charismatic, attractive person to those around you IRL who aren't completely self-absorbed). Everyone on this planet has victories and failures everyday. In that way, we're all the same. The question is, which will you focus on? That is where you have a choice, even though it's impossible not to be affected by the trauma.
Can you find one thing today that you can focus on that gives you joy, even for 5 minutes? I had some nasty thoughts this morning about WAW and her A. I had to force myself to think of something joyous. I settled on how D2 has the cutest lisp right now. I've been enjoying it lately because I just finally turned her carseat to forward facing. Now I can see her face in the mirror, and she can see stop signs coming. "Thtop thign daddy! Thtop at the thtop thign!"
Take care today! Emphasis on today.
Me 38, WAW 30 D11 (former marriage) S2 T 8 years M 3 years BD 8/20/23 S 8/20/23
I know it's hard for you to see through all of the muck being heaved on you lately, but you're doing an amazing job at life right now. You're focused on the shortcomings (failed M, blow-ups with D11, AWOL WAH, etc.), but we've all been inspired by your victories (restarting a career, steadily piecing together a parenting plan for D11, still being a charismatic, attractive person to those around you IRL who aren't completely self-absorbed). Everyone on this planet has victories and failures everyday. In that way, we're all the same. The question is, which will you focus on? That is where you have a choice, even though it's impossible not to be affected by the trauma.
