I have been watching all of this, debating whether i should comment or not.
Imo, i feel that you have placed a boundary that you now have to enforce but that you arent emotionally ready to do so. I see you own a few things but i also see you holding onto your anger at your wife and using it as a sword in all of this instead of as a shield. Unfortunately that doesnt often work out well for us.
As far as your W saying she felt emotionally abused...she probably did. Emotiinal abuse is very subjective and individual and can be very different for each person. And it doesnt happen intentionally most of the time. My X is not a mean person. He did not intend to hurt me in any way. He simply behaved in ways he was taught in his life. However, for me, many things became emotionally abusive. So i wouldnt be so quick to dismiss what hour W is feeling. It is HER reality, and to her, it matters.
I also would suggest that you leave your children out of this. Before you damage both your and your W's relationships with them.
Good luck.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
