Eerie, isn't it Mighty. The MLCers all seem to think that they are so unique, so just being who they were "meant" to be. They just don't get that are actually so very clique. I was struck by how they say certain things, word for word, that are listed here as things MLCers say. My W really believes that she is "empowering" herself by what she is doing. That it's takes "strength" to walk away when it is obvious to any observer that it's actually the" weak", easy way. It takes real strength to work through things, to fight for what is right, to look at what the real causes of our pain are.
Each sitch is unique in the details. What made me finally truly believe in MLC was how so many people, all different, say and do so many of the exact same things. I really think that one day they will recognize MLC as an actual mental disorder and the things our S's have done and are doing symptoms of those having that disorder!
Just want to comment on two big points you made in your post...
1. Yep -- Staying and working on things is much harder and the MLC-way is the easy way out. LBS who try to stand for the R/M are willing and prepared to do the hard work that it will take -- but the MLCer just wants to start over with something easier (no baggage). Outside observers can easily see this and understand it -- but MLC-mind can't and won't.
2. Seeing the similarities also helped me realize that this is very real. I too hope that one day this is recognized as a true mental disorder. Not sure what kind of treatment would work -- MLCer would have to first recognize they have a problem, right? But at least if this could be recognized more widely so that all doctors and therapists take it seriously when the symptoms are present.
Me 48, Her 50 (Same-Sex Couple) 3 Children Together: 9.5 years before BD BD: Week of 10/27/14 ExW started EA w OW 9/2014 ExW married OW 12/2015
