Masterpiece - a little more progress...

[Jer2911]

Was riding so "high" after my interview then overhead W talking to OW last night about U.S. citizenship and how she's been talking to a friend of hers who went through it to get an idea on how to speed up the process... WTH!?

This bothers me, but not quite so much as it would have a few months ago... So there's a bit of progress there... But it does still bother me.

This is all just so stupid... and I can tell from what I overhear and what I've read in the past between them that it seems very clear that my W is definitely driving this A completely... She seems very skilled at calming OW's fears, concerns, guilt, and at orchestrating logistics of the trips as well as this apparent plan for OW to gain citizenship. I am also aware of large sums of money being given to OW to help with expenses (some medical bills as well as $$ for her flight here.) So grateful that my W and I have always had our finances separated from each other... The only financial concern I have is if W loses her job in the near future and I am not yet employed at a salary that would allow me to pick up the mortgage -- that is the only way that this spree of spending $$ on OW could hurt me and the kids. What a ridiculous situation -- and the worst part is that right now W is not cycling back into Monster so she appears on the surface with everyone -- including with me -- to be happy and completely rational in everything she is thinking, saying, and doing... And as far as I can tell, none of her friends (that she has now confided in about the OW), have given her any kind of critical friend advice like "What in the world are you thinking?! She's how old? From where? And you met when and how? And you are tearing your family apart for this?!" Nope -- as far as I can tell everyone seems to think it's perfectly okay... Most, if not all, of the family members on the other hand think quite differently and are horrified by what she is doing... But she's not listening to any of them...

I also know that she has a doctor's appointment with our family doc today. Family doc knows -- because of my recent frequent appointments -- everything that is going on including my suspicions that W has been dealing with undiagnosed depression for several years and that it might have been triggered during pregnancy with hormone shifts (which may have been stronger than normal since age at pregnancy was 38)... Will be interesting to see if she is able to diagnose depression today and prescribe anything for my W... I also hope she pushes for testing hormone levels (I'm pretty sure there's a perimenopause factor in all of this as well)... Of course, I won't be able to know any of that for certain because my W won't tell me -- but I am saying some prayers around it this morning with the intent that God will guide the doctor with the right questions, words, and suggestions to get through to my W on some level. Again -- I know that none of that is a quick fix and I wouldn't be surprised if ADs just make her feel less guilt over everything she is doing to me and the kids... But at least she's finally going to see our doctor for something.