For Newcomer LBH with a Wayward Wife

[MCS]

Sandi,

For me, my W is definitely WW. However, all of the things that you have listed for me to do....she did first. Pretty much went full NC.

I've backed off for the last 6 months, but recently saw that she is hurting so much. The A has always been a secret even after she left. Basically, she pulled the trigger, but he didn't. Every time I think its over, I see that she's still in full pursuit. I've spent 6 months w/o exposing the A to OM's GF.

She's always been good putting up a front of everything is fine (why I had no clue about A for over a year.) However, we recently got to the point that I was starting to see her wall break down. She was trying not to do it, but I think got comfortable with talking at MC.....then she still blames me with a huge lie. So, I thought she was out of her fog, but obviously not. Ugh, problem is these lies are crossing the line, but I think she actually believes them right now.

So, I'll be just fine with being without her; but still hope my W is in this shell and will come out again.

So my question is, in your sitch; did you reconcile the things you made up about H to see that they were just lies to support your justification? I've been recently wondering if she made up the 'no turning back' lies in order to push me away or trivialize the A in her head as the cause of the S. Especially since OM didn't work out.