Joe

I can tell you how V does this, there may be better ways but it seems to work for me. I ask myself is the boundary reasonable? Can I enforce it? Once the boundary is stated then it has to be enforced if breached.

1. I only mention a boundary when it is breached and I know because I feel uncomfortable when something is done. Then it is enforced.
2. Once the boundary is stated and enforced, I change the subject ( called normalising)
3. I use a slow deliberate soft voice (no drama)

Here is a link to some examples that were discussed on ODs thread, they might be useful, there is also a thread on newcomers forum about boundaries too. If you read that thread of OD then OD cleverly enforces his boundaries with his WW.

Vs boundaries

You will never be a jerk enforcing the right boundaries and making sure that you are consistent.

This link is to Al Turtle who writes for young adults on boundaries. I loved this when I first read it because it made sense to me.

boundaries


V

Last edited by Vanilla; 03/12/15 10:33 PM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW