hold on! - 8

[u-turn]

W & my schedules are not meshing and she's been exhausted at night and this is not giving us any time to talk. So I was considering giving her a letter (e-mail) to explain what I want - since she is asking. (I am also worried about not saying everything that I have to say)


W,
This has been on my mind and can't seem to find the right opportunity to discuss this. You have asked me many times what you can do to help me. I have avoided this because I didn't want to deal with or burden the situation with my own feelings

But

I know that you said that you ended it with OM and that is big step for you and us, and I do feel you coming back and letting me in again. You say you are recommitting to our marriage, I need to be reassured of this. I want you to have no contact with him at all and want you to write a letter to him to declare this affair over and tell him of your reestablished commitment to your husband and family. I believe that any contact you have with him is continuing the destructive pattern. Though I know for now you will have work related e-mails and conversations, but personal e-mails and texts would need to stop. Alternate e-mail accounts need to be stopped. I want to see this letter before it is sent. This is both to help me regain my confidence in us and for you to have closure and I think we need this to rebuild. He needs to be removed from our lives completely. I also want to be equally transparent with each other. Lies and secrets were feeding this problem and we need this to end.

I do not want to repeat this pattern or have the doubts consume me.

Please let me know what your thoughts are about this.

If anyone has any advice about this - I sure would like to hear it. For some reason this makes me nervous.

Thanks!!!