Your lawyer can give you a good idea about what the "standard" child custody arrangement is in your state. You will want to give some thought as to presenting your proposal from the standpoint of what is best for the kids.
Speaking with your lawyer will most likely help you with the fear and uncertainty, and if they give you tasks to do, do not procrastinate. You'll definitely want to get a better handle on your finances before you head into mediation. It will be a much more effective discussion on your side if you go in to it educated and confident about these matters.
Originally Posted By: rppfl
RAI, I agree with Raliced that your L can be helpful in explaining common child sharing arrangements. There are many variations. Just be sure you ask for what you really want up front, it might be hard to increase time later.
Thanks RPP and raliced. I have made an appt to meet with L tomorrow morning. I was under the false assumption - this is all new to me, after all - that if I was going to go through mediation that the L's involvement would only come at the end of the process. I see now that it is important to have someone in one's own corner to continue to provide counsel. I am certain that my W is receiving this advice. Her brother is a shrewd and shifty L.
raliced, I get your point about doing what is best for the kids. In a recent podcast given by a child psychologist I heard that, in general, the thing spouses most vociferously argue about - living arrangements - has the least impact on the children's emotional health long term - as long as the child has meaningful contact with both parents. It seems like a civil relationship between the parents is much more conducive to a better outcome for the children. This psychologist used a business relationship as a model for how parents should get along. You treat your ex-spouse as a business partner: you don't have to like him/her. You just have to work with them because you are contractually obligated. Someone from the audience raised a valid point: what if your business partner has been lying to you and stealing from you?
