It's a nightmare. Wake me up.

[NH115]

Don't make the mistake of discounting OM because they've never had any physical contact. For many people, and women especially, the emotional component is more important than the physical. My W and OM never did anything more than kiss. She cut off contact with him a couple of months ago. She is still pretty preoccupied, although I see improvement in that area. She still tries to tell me that he's not really a bad guy, despite his two previous A's before her. Keeping my food down is tough sometimes.

People in an A are NOT in their right minds, especially early on. My W was convinced for a while that her married OM would swoop in like a knight and save her from her suddenly miserable life. She says she was miserable for a long time, but it's funny how she never became miserable enough to leave until he popped up. Throughout our marriage my W couldn't fathom living more than 80 miles from her mother and was convinced that putting her children through a move would scar them emotionally. After OM showed up, she was suddenly ready to throw away her marriage, her job of 20 years that she loved, her friends, and take her kids 800 miles away to be with him. Of course there was the minor issue of his wife and sons, but true love conquers all, right? Fortunately her fog has cleared a lot, but she still is quite attached to OM.

Do what you're doing. Be polite, friendly, upbeat, apply the 180s. You will NOT be able to convince her of anything or "snap her out of it". My W almost destroyed her relationship with her best friend of 38 years because the friend (God bless her)refused to cheerlead her involvement with OM.

It's vital that you get your anger under control. I still struggle with this. Work on YOU. Be the man any woman would be a fool to leave, for YOU. Don't do it for her.