Don't see how I can win this.

[Mozza]

Indeed, why didn't you contact the church directly?

To me, it comes down to your intentions and tone. If you're really angry and vengeful (are you, honestly?), then it will show. Otherwise, if you have good intentions such as honesty and pain, you can show it. "Dear Pastor, This may seem a strange request but I would be very grateful if you could remove the pictures of my family from the church's website. As you know, my wife and I recently separated and this is a painful reminder of better times. Many thanks for your understanding."

It's not so much the content of that you say or ask, it's how you do it. If you present it with love, honesty and vulnerability, it will go over much better.

But again, the real question is whether your W is right about your emotions.