Thank you for such kind words, Live, Bright, Lovin, bea and Gwen. It never ceases to humble me to know my posts are helping others. When I first came here, I was so broken and hopeless.
I have some updates.
I returned the new car to H. It was financed in his name, and refinancing it into mine was not an option, since the car has depreciated more than the listed value, and is upside-down. The lenders will only loan the value of the car, and I was not willing or able to pay off the $5k difference. So I bought a $7500 car from a private seller who took excellent care of it. He had every maintenance record minus 2 oil changes. And it’s a little gray convertible.
My thinking was, if I have to “downgrade”, how can I make this not FEEL like a downgrade? I had to ask myself what do I really want? What can I really afford? What are my options? What do I have in my life today?
Well, I no longer have 4 kids in my house. I have 2. I no longer have to load the car with groceries for 7 people. Just 3. I no longer have soccer games requiring me to bring chairs, coolers, etc. I drive ˝ mile to work. I shouldn’t even be driving because it’s so close!
So I got something older and reliable, yet fun. And I love it! Bring on the sunshine, baby.
A few weeks before finding this car, something weird happened. I went to H apartment to give him my final monthly payment for the car I would be returning. He asked me what kind of car I was looking for, and he suggested the very car I had been researching. I asked him how he knew that? He said he remembered years ago I mentioned I liked that car once. I didn’t even remember that. Sooo….he can’t remember any good times together, but THAT he remembers.
Then it got weirder. While standing in his kitchen, I looked up an old text from a friend who happens to be male, and said in casual conversation, “one of my friends told me kbb value of car is xxxx.”
H looked over my shoulder at the text, and turned into Mr. Jealousangrypants. He snapped at me, “Oh. Well, why don’t you just have SO-AND SO help you buy the car then!” It was odd and immature. No shocker there.
I laughed it off, and said, “Umm, not that it matters, (especially since he is on ow#Icantcountthathigh) but so and so is not a boyfriend, or anything close to that.” H was still pacing and stewing….time for me to go, so I did.
Fast forward to the day after my purchase, and the return of H car, and H is irritable. Complaining about his options with the car by text.
Then this text comes in:
“Btw I filed on 2/12/15.”
3 weeks he waited, and the chicken-sh*t sends that by text. I literally spent an hour with him the day beforehand, doing the car shuffle. And he couldn’t tell me then.
Nope. He saved it to use as punishment to me, for his unhappiness.
Coincidentally, he filed the day before the one-year anniversary of his suicide attempt.
I seem to have hit more of the inevitable “anger” stage of grief.
****sigh**** More updates to come….things are a-movin'!
