[susana4]

Make love to him when you feel truly loved, don't do it just for the sex. Passion is great, but make sure you are being loved first. Listen to your gut feeling if he seems to be open to work on the M.

Ok so this is going to sound weird and possibly also get some 2x4s...but I do feel loved. Has he recommitted to the M? No, absolutely not! But loved? Well, yes.

We haven't had R talks in a long time but the last ones we had, he said he was still in love with me. I know, don't trust their words! But if I'm going by actions, I think his actions are loving.

I guess I think that love, and the working on the M, are separate issues with H. I think Wonka said it well about why he doesn't want to work on the M:

Her H is simply unsure of how to "work" on a marriage as they've transitioned out from the honeymoon phase and into the nitty gritty of a real marriage that includes conflicts and disagreements.

Also to add in what my DB coach said yesterday - it seems like he has a fear of abandonment, and doesn't feel 'good enough', and sometimes people with that run away so they can be the first to leave. He also felt trapped and like he couldnt pursue his own life and goals, because he felt like he was always taking care of me.

Sorry, I've started rambling. To sum up - the more I think about it, the more I feel like there isn't a way to explain why I don't want to ML without bringing up something about the R (recommitment to the M).