Rebuilding 1 step at a time

[Heart14]

I had an aha moment the other day. Someone mentioned an advice column response I should read. It was all about how marriage is hard and we screw it up sometimes. That the happily ever after fairytale we have in our heads isn't real life. An emphasis was on how infidelity doesn't necessarily have to completely break a relationship. It can instead lead to a better understanding of each other and a stronger marriage. The author even said that she is thankful for her partners affair because it caused them to dig deeper and connect more.

I'm not sure thankful is the right word for me, but I can see that it was the catalyst for positive change in my life. Reading the column lifted a weight from my shoulders. I shared it with H and told him it made me feel really good about us and our future. He agreed and told me that he has no regrets about choosing to stay. Again he told me how horrible he feels for his actions last year. It was just what I needed.

I feel like we're shifting out of piecing now. I'm stronger and smarter than I was a year ago. No regrets. I know if he ever strayed again I could leave with my head held high. Nothing is gaurenteed. I'm at peace with that now.