[susana4]

Man, this morning I feel SO sexually frustrated, and like I failed at the tease and good bye (although I did at least say no to ML and that was fricking hard).

Things were thankfully nice this morning, not awkward at all. H apologised to me "for being a pest last night" (I didn't know what to say, so I just laughed). He was pretty flirty and offered to carry my laptop to work (which really surprised me, because he used to complain a lot about carrying my stuff and told me I 'treated him like a packhorse' - I think the problem in the past was I didn't appreciate him or thank him) and seemed weirdly appreciative when I said he could carry it - he gave me a hug like I was the one doing *him* a favour, lol!

Listen to your gut feeling if he seems to be open to work on the M.
I honestly don't know what that will feel like so maybe I can't trust my gut! I know to look for consistent actions not words, but I don't know what actions I'm looking for. I'm definitely a words person and this part of DBing is so counterintuitive to me!

The thing is, I wasn't teasing last night, I was just going about my life. I was actually really tired and excited to have the house to myself for the night, so I made dinner and got in my pyjamas and watched a movie. My PJ's are NOT sexy, they are long sleeved and long pants and very baggy. Yet every time we've ML or he's tried to I have been wearing those non-sexy PJ's! Anyway, I wasn't really thinking about ML or even looking nice or anything, I gave up on the dressing sexy and mysterious, I just wanted to relax and watch a movie (when I got home I actually thought "I should be sexy and mysterious but d@mnit I just want to relax in my own house tonight!" So I did). I was wearing unsexy PJ's, no makeup, my hair was a mess and I was just relaxing. So him trying to ML didn't seem to be related to me teasing.

My main challenges here are:
-He is super horny. *I* am super horny. I have a higher sex drive than him and I had a lot of trouble saying no last night. This is a combustible situation.

-I don't want to start R talks, I know better than to. My problem is, how do I say no if he tries to seduce me without getting into an R talk, but still let him know why I am saying no to ML. I went with a modified version of what gogofo suggested just saying out loud - 'it's not that I'm not attracted to you I just want to ML sober" (said in a playful way). But I left out saying "sober and loving way" because I feel like throwing in loving is kind of like pushing for an R talk, no?

Here's my problem: if he keeps trying to initiate, and I keep saying no, how do I make it clear *why* I am rejecting him? Or is it OK to be a bit more upfront here?