Alpha and WAW - part 2

[alpha99]

Thanks complex,

So if I understand correctly then contact should be to a minimum and when I do see her no unnecessary conversation? The first part has been quite easy, I've hardly called/texted for about 2 weeks (only kid stuff really). My problem is doing LRT when I see her every day. If we had no kids it would be simple. Since we do I'm spending time each day sat in the same room as her. In these cases I've.made neighbourly conversation like 'oh, its quite cold outside today, isn't it? And 'I saw so and so at school today. I'm confused as I thought initiating non R conversations in this manner was OK. I focus on the kids when I'm there but speak a little to her about every day stuff. Should I stop this? A week or two ago we had a 20 min car journey to her mum's house where I didn't speak to her at all. In that case she got incredibly angry. When I continued in a similar vein over a day or two she just got angrier.

I guess my problem is detaching without appearing cold or rude.

Last night's language meet up went great. I thoroughly enjoyed it. 2 hours of Italian conversation. The whole time no thoughts of my sitch. I came out of it buzzing and the thought I had was to call W and say how good it had been. Then I remembered I can't. That lowered my mood and took the edge off things.

So today, should I do another big warm hello when I knock on the door? Or should it be a breezy hi, get the kids, and go? I know the pull between logic and counter intuitive/effective. I know consistency is key. Im just struggling to find the right path in interactions: be neifhbourly nice, day to day conversation in a breezy, upbeat manner, or withdraw, speak less, still smile and be upbeat but not initiate conversation, not to expand on things if she speaks etc