Hey Luke. You know, I kinda feel sometimes that you dont get why you still feel a certain way about something. Like you have this timeline in your head and when you dont meet it, it upsets you.
This isnt linear. The feelings go up and down and around and through.
And relatively speaking, you are still pretty early into all of this. Yea, sorry about that.
I will tell you this. I thought I wouldnt ever get over the pain of the betrayal. There were many levels of betrayal in my sitch. But speaking about the ow, in particular.
It was once a deep, searing pain...it is now pretty much a dull ache from time to time if I think about it.
I had a bit of a nasty OW as she sent flowers to my home to xh and she called me...so, yea, no fun there.
And he was in the home for a large part of his affair. So, I had a front row seat. Also, no fun.
I have forgiven him. Really and truly. It is not my place to judge him. I have compassion for him as I saw his crisis clearly, without a doubt. He became a shell of the man I knew. It is still very sad to me.
She was an exit affair. An old gf from before me. It lasted about 2 and a half years, I think. She is long gone and he is a tunnel hugger...
It has changed me..all of this. I am not the same person I was. I am thankful for the journey, though, I wish I didnt have to learn what I needed to in the way that I learned it.
But if I didnt, it would be a different journey.
So, you feel how you do and its ok. Its a hurtful thing all of that. Hard to get your mind around at times and heartbreaking and soulcrushing.
I can tell you that you wont always feel as you do now. The rawness of your feelings will continue to fade.
