Well, bound for me that I would lose my post. Anyway, we'll have another try at it. Have you read the link on boundaries? Do you know the difference in an ultimatum and a boundary?
She considers you already divorced, so you have nothing to lose and possibly everything to gain, but for certain......your self respect. Your M is over and she has already left you, right? She has given you two months to get your affairs in order. Where will you be on your personal journey in two months? It is a myth to believe that if you'll hang on that things will eventually work themselves out. Oh, you may stay legally M but you will not have a real MR without tons of hard work. So do your research about boundaries!
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It's still not clear to me what clout I have in setting boundaries other than the D-bomb itself
That is b/c you have been so dependent on this R you apparently have forgotten how to stand on your own two manly feet. God gave each gender their own special qualities, and to the man He gave him an authoritative voice, and usually a larger body that can withstand more physical hardship, than the average woman. Man can use these qualities to command troops and lead them into battle......or save lives. His entire makeup is designed to take charge and face life head on. But it only takes one little female to render him utterly powerless?
Your speech, attitude and actions portray you as defeated. You have been so dependent on this MR that you have done nothing socially on your own for 15 yrs! No wonder it is difficult for you to get motivated.
You may, or may not, get your wife back......however, you [u][/u]can get you life back!
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
