Jack you always make me laugh with the straight up in your face way of putting things.
Yes I owned my part, but I think early on I tried to own hers too .. there is a difference and one I had to figure out. I think I have come some way in correcting a good deal of the mistakes I made, at first sure it was to 'win' her back, but I realized quickly those would not stick .. when I started doing them for me I became more at peace with this mess.
I still think the A was her get away ticket/exit strategy, currently she seems to be set on being alone, not sure if its just till the D is final, or if she actually realizes she needs to find herself, I hope for the later for her sake .. regardless of where we end up.
