I was the Champion of not detaching I think... I had a really hard time of it. Like all the emotions that we go through during this, detachment too is very cyclic. I would fall asleep thinking about her and OM, wake often during the night with those thoughts. Here is where GAL really starts kicking in. Once you start doing some GALs at least during those moments you forget a bit .. just for that time you are fully engaged in your GAL that you forget about WAW, then ... a strange thing happens .. your PMA goes up. That night you might even sleep a bit better than the night before ... rinse repeat and it starts to snowball.
Do not beat yourself up, its not a lightswitch and you can not just turn it off in an instant, it takes time .. .loads of it. Find a GAL activity, or four and put your effort into those, you can only change you right? So focus on you, do your thing, make you happy ... your WAS is doing her thing .. its empty and shallow and a quick fix that she thinks she might need .. does not involve you so stay out of that, make yourself better.
I play softball on Thursday, Coach my sons baseball team Tuesdays and Saturdays, Play football Sundays, I go to a church group on Wednesdays ... my free nights I have S and cook, laundry ... this all took some time to do but when and if my W calls/texts ... I usually miss it not to punish her, but because I am busy with my life the way I want it. I have used this time to make sure I am a damn good father, and one day when I decide I am ready I will see about sharing my precious life with someone ... W or who knows is TBD .. I am not there and not ready right now, still alot of me to fix.
Focus on you, look in the mirror and decide who you want to be, who your kids should see .. start your trip, do the work, and strive everyday to be that person.
