I will work more on detaching. It's a process and some days are beter than others. Some days I feel like I have slid back into old thinking patterns and others I feel good about the positive changes. I guess that is the roller coaster effect I have read so much about.
Mozza - What will it mean in my daily life to not look back, I guess letting her go, dropping the rope, not concerning myself with her new life. It feels like she has a brand new life while I have the old life except with a gaping hole. I know that is just my perceptions and I am working to realign that with my IC.
Another big part will be when I am no longer angry with her. I think that will be the true litmus test, when she does not affect me or my emotions. I really want to let the anger go and just get on with my life. I am still angry with her and I am sure that colors every interaction. I am practiving deep breathing, am exercising and trying to meditate myself into the present, not on the past or on the fuure, but in the now. The now that includes playing with my kids, taking the dog for a walk, contrating on my job. Living in the NOW.
I am rearranging the house, and making it more mine and removing items that are triggers. I do "get it" that when I focus on her, or "our" past, it just hurts me in the end and I really am tired of falling into those potholes. I am getting better but am not there yet. I am a never ending work in progress it seems.
It is harder because we both work at the same location (different buildings) and we both know most everyone who works here. I have stopped going to "her" church and have started going to another one with the kids. It feels like a fresh start for us.
Again, thank you both for your insightful comments. They help me more than you know.
