PS I would like to say to all going through this: Nothing you did CAUSED your spouse to cheat. That decision was all theirs. If they were unhappy with you, they had a responsibility to speak up and not blindside you. So no, I won't be taking the blame for destroying my family. Was I a perfect wife? No -- but I was pretty darn good! No one is a perfect partner, but that does not give the other person a valid reason to cheat in my book.
I'm with you Ahoy. My fool of a H doesn't know just how good a W I was. Not perfect. But good. Fool.
