Reading your past 5 pages brings up anger within me. Do you not feel the same? I see your WW spitting in your face, trying to gaslight you, and not respecting your boundaries/you as a person at all. What are you doing to focus on yourself? It is very clear in your interactions that she is not thinking of you at all, and like sandi has said she is so completely focused on the OM that you are, literally, just a roommate in her mind.
One of the principles of DB is to become the spouse only a fool would leave. That is a twofold approach: 1. Get yourself to be the person that you TRULY are, and even better, not the one defined by your M/R and 2. the potential to attract your spouse back to you. I put them in that order for a reason.
Another thing I noticed is that you seem to be acting a lot out of fear, like you are walking on eggshells around her. For example, when she is stating that she thinks you should be fine with an affair partner being brought around you. Hell no. She is taking full advantage of that and storming right on over you. Stand up, take charge of your boundaries, and be strong. She will get angry. She will rewrite history (you've already seen that). She will justify her actions to the fullest extent possible. That's fine. Let her. I've personally progressed far enough in my own development that I kind of get a kick out of these behaviors. It's satisfying when WW has no good response to boundary setting, and I'm still progressively setting more.
M: 8.5 T:10 Me:37 W:34 S:6
Retrouvaille and W moves back- 7/31/15 Piecing - 7/4/15 to present
