It's somewhat very hard to face all these ups and downs. But as the others mention here, your H has made all crazy decisions and seem like he may be in some kind of MLC.
One thing is for sure, if his R with this OW was something more specific and a strong link, a year into this would be a little different. So if a year is just eventual meetings and she does not step out of her R, then your H may be feeling as an idiot.
And Toots, you know my opinion. I feel it's all logical and OK to go dark and not contact the WAH but I still feel that he may need to be reminded once in a while what he is loosing. I think he needs to see more of who you are now and know all the changes that you have been working on.
I don't mean to be straight forward to show him anything, but he needs to see it somehow and get himself even more confused about his bad choices. After a year, the resentments towards you are also fading, the bad feelings are becoming memories and there is a chance that he may be thinking about you more then before.
It's also very possible that he feels very ashamed of what he did to you. The guilt of hurting you may be eating his liver and he does not have a lot of courage to reach out for you.
I really believe that your H did not erase you completely from his mind, even if he tried to eliminate your physical memories from the house.
About that email, is there a chance that he just left it there so you could see it? Why he not careful about his private stuff?
And why is him choosing what he bags for you. Is there any possible way that you could go and take the stuff you want to take before he is doing the whole cleaning? This was your house and he needs to share this moment with you, he wants or not it is also part of your life.
If that happen, it would be some way to share sometime with him, maybe some talk about what happen.
I like that Toots will give up only when she thinks it is over, you go girl... no one will tell you how to live your life, only you can do it.
