Confused

[Vanilla]

Joe

If W continues with her business whilst S is in the next room, will that not blow the whole thing open?

So if she does not move then she has a real mirror gazing issue. Once this particular cat is out of the bag with her family then this may precipitate a crisis? At least you will not be isolated in this.

Joe, my H hid the fact that he was a compulsive gambler from his family (although he came out to me), once a face up was initiated, because I did not enable then that particular issue came to a head. Similarly when As become public knowledge, pieces fall into place for friends and relatives. W view of W works to her as long as she can keep this hidden, in particular from her children. My Hs abuse of me is now public knowledge and I am not going to hide it.

Joe, you are acting with your best interests, let W deal with W and the consequences. If she wants to continue then there are consequences for her. Let her deal with these, my concern is for you and the fact that Joe may be enabling behaviour he clearly finds unacceptable to him. It is the fact this is a boundary issue for Joe which is of greatest concern to me. Not W activity itself, of that I can have no view other than to be sad that it causing her distress too. Joe you are my first concern.

V