My wife's addiction to her job really shows when someone in the house gets sick. Younger D is home sick today and wife freaks out and wants her to stay in her room. I don't want to spread it either but come on. If your going to get, your going to get it!! It was when I got sick for a couple of days was when she moved completely out of our room and started sleeping in her office. She was disinfecting like crazy!! She freaks out that she might miss work!!! To me this is unhealthy!!
Me:44 EXW 44 Wonderful Children M11, T14 BD 6/14 OM Confirmed Divorce Final 2/25/16 "It works if you work it!"
The hits keep on coming!! I think there is a mold problem in the basement of the house we are renting. Me and my son sleep down there. For the past few weeks, I have been having problems coughing. Now son is having the same problem and allergies are terrible at night. So now the big problem is, he can sleep on the couch in the living room upstairs until I get it all cleaned out. But I have no where to sleep. I do NOT want to be in the next room while wife conducts her business at night. It is bad enough to be in the basement. Last night I started thinking it was time for me to move out for awhile. Maybe now is the right time. I am tired of all this!! Tired of waking up stressing about it!! I think it is easier on wife since I have detached. I take care of the kids at night while she works and probably texts her "friend or friends". I wish I had the proof of what she was doing to confront her!!! NEED some advice please.
Me:44 EXW 44 Wonderful Children M11, T14 BD 6/14 OM Confirmed Divorce Final 2/25/16 "It works if you work it!"
I am in the master bedroom. She has a room for her office. She put a bed in there.
So I was thinking of texting her this today:
" With this problem in the basement, son and I will have to sleep upstairs. I do not want to sleep next to your room while you are conducting that sort of business. I have stated that I do not want to be in a marriage with someone that works as a phone sex operator. I also do not want to be in a marriage with someone that lies to me. Honesty is VERY important to me. I gave you a choice last weekend and feel there has been plenty of time to decide. I can see this kind of lifestyle is more important than me and our family. So I am asking you one last time. You can have your job and do it somewhere other than our house or you can stop and start working on our marriage."
Or do you guys have any other ideas?
Me:44 EXW 44 Wonderful Children M11, T14 BD 6/14 OM Confirmed Divorce Final 2/25/16 "It works if you work it!"
S and I will be sleeping upstairs in the MB, so I suggest you move, the basement will be free or you can go elsewhere. I have already stated my boundary on your occupation and our M.
What do you think Cadet?
V
Last edited by Vanilla; 03/11/1503:27 PM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
I doubt she will either! I don't know. I can't force her to leave. For the past week, since I have completely detached from her and only discussed the kids, I have noticed a few changes. She did start selling things online again like she used to. She has not been on FB for a long time. She got back on there and started selling. Should I take this as a positive things and keep doing what I am doing? I sometimes thing that if I press the issue more, it is me trying to force the issue and trying to control it. I just have a hard time dealing with being lied to by someone you are suppose to trust. I have a really hard time being betrayed. I have a really hard time thinking about her talking to these men and also her having an EA. I am just tired of waking up everyday stressing over this stuff!!
I keep hearing Sandi talk about the WW coming out of their fog when something snaps them out of it. Lately I have been looking at divorce lawyers and contemplating that, because I don't know how much longer I can take this going on. But I hurt for my kids. I hurt for my step kids that would have to go through another divorce.
Me:44 EXW 44 Wonderful Children M11, T14 BD 6/14 OM Confirmed Divorce Final 2/25/16 "It works if you work it!"
If W continues with her business whilst S is in the next room, will that not blow the whole thing open?
So if she does not move then she has a real mirror gazing issue. Once this particular cat is out of the bag with her family then this may precipitate a crisis? At least you will not be isolated in this.
Joe, my H hid the fact that he was a compulsive gambler from his family (although he came out to me), once a face up was initiated, because I did not enable then that particular issue came to a head. Similarly when As become public knowledge, pieces fall into place for friends and relatives. W view of W works to her as long as she can keep this hidden, in particular from her children. My Hs abuse of me is now public knowledge and I am not going to hide it.
Joe, you are acting with your best interests, let W deal with W and the consequences. If she wants to continue then there are consequences for her. Let her deal with these, my concern is for you and the fact that Joe may be enabling behaviour he clearly finds unacceptable to him. It is the fact this is a boundary issue for Joe which is of greatest concern to me. Not W activity itself, of that I can have no view other than to be sad that it causing her distress too. Joe you are my first concern.
V
Last edited by Vanilla; 03/11/1503:40 PM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
