abbey, Did you reconcile and he's flown the coop again or has he lived at home all of this time and is just now flying the coop?
What he's done thus far, from your posting, is pretty typical.
I know it's difficult, but keep the focus on you and your family. He's in the rabbit hole and one day, he'll poke his head out to see if you are still right where he left you. Little does he realize that life continues on while he's hibernating.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
