Masterpiece still in progress...

[Jer2911]

I want to take a moment to talk about my job sitch... As I sit here at my computer, having my coffee and getting mentally prepared for my interview later this morning, I am reflecting on some things about myself...

After the birth of our third child I really thought I could get enough online work and consulting to replace the full-time income that I was earning with the school district. My W agreed to the idea -- we both liked the idea of one of us working from home and having the flexibility to handle everything related to having three very young children.

For the first couple of years this worked just fine. But then the work started to drop off and despite my best efforts at applying everywhere I could (for online work), it just wasn't happening... The past couple of years have been horrible... I just figured up my 2014 income and it was about half of my 2013 income! No wonder we've been hurting so much financially over the past year.

But aside from the financial concerns -- which certainly added a lot of stress to our M -- there has also been some issue for me in terms of self-esteem.

As I sit here thinking about the interview that I will have in a few hours, I am actually really excited about the possibility of being back in a full-time position. Several months ago, despite the financial bind, I dreaded the thought of going back to something full-time because I was so comfortable in the flexible work-from-home lifestyle... I was comfortable in it even though it was no longer working for me/us (sounds bit like how we all become comfortable in our marriages even though we may have gone into a rut that doesn't work for either spouse, right?) Several months ago my head was in a very different place... Now, for many reasons, but especially because of my W's MLC, I've been jarred awake and realize that I need to be working full-time -- engaging with people, helping people learn and grow, pushing myself to learn more within my profession, and getting back to a place where I feel like I am impacting more lives with my work. It's a big part of who I am and I lost that over the years...

So there is a lot riding on this job interview... Not that my world will crumble if I don't get hired, but I do know this is a vital part of my personal journey and if I don't get hired for this position then I'll just keep applying for others until I do get something.

Just had to get those thoughts out there as they popped into my head :-) (Yep -- coffee is kicking in now!)