Toot Va Bien!

[Sotto]

Thanks V and Complex. V, I hope you enjoyed Doonesbury's 'In search of Reagan's Brain.' I loved in in the '80s (apologies any Reagan fans...)

Complex, I'm not sure of the A status. The email text I found was from January. OW returned to the UK in February. And H contacted me in later Feb, saying he had been stupid and lost sight of what's important...etc...so I think he has been disappointed. I still think he's in a wayward state of mind though....albeit with some little glimmers of potential change.

My take on this all was that H thought - if only I could get OW back to the UK (and presumably away from OM) things will be ok. But she came back and things don't seem ok....H is actually dating others ATM, so I don't think the A is 'blossoming' ATM - but there may still be some 'toxic' on/off/on cycling going on still - IDK.

I do wonder if this is an MLC. H lost loads of weight, got very fit, started wearing more 'out there' clothes. Became generally unhappy with life. Firstly more work, later more life in general and then me/us. Then decided to start 'dating' when he was working away, and went out with two other women before AP. He was positively looking to get involved with someone else. Lots of MLC signs I think.

Truly, H is (was?) a lovely person and the 'alien abduction' analogy rings somewhat true. Our MF, who I chatted to the other day, has known H for years and is so shocked at recent events. She would not have believed this of him either.

Not that I'm trying to absolve myself of any blame. There were certainly ways in which I could have been a better wife. But I was loving, supportive and faithful - a 'good enough' wife.

I think the 'erasing' of me is either linked to OW coming back, or a general reaction to where things are at, and H feeling he's got to move forwards.. Certainly he seems on a pretty short fuse with me lately. I think that's going to get worse as we sort financials and the house.

Still coming to come to terms with recent events. Can I imagine myself with someone else? Not right now is the answer. And not for a while probably. Sorry, I know my focus is on him a lot right now. I just need to get all of this out and move forwards. I'll get there...