[susana4]

Er...so...interesting night. Brief recap: we went for dinner, had a fantastic time, laughed a lot, flirted. Came home, had a drink and chatted, watched a couple episodes of Friends. Had a somewhat heavy conversation about me being critical which somehow turned into us holding each other and saying how amazing the other person is. We kissed, he tried it on, I teased, shut the door in his face.

The long story:

So, we went for dinner at this Italian place (it's a place that does sourdough pizzas, and it's amazing!). The pizza was amazing and the wine was pretty good and cheap - win! It was so much fun, it felt just like our first dates - so much laughing, teasing, flirting, laughing.

We came home and had a drink and sat on the sofa and chatted. One of my 180s is not to speak to fill awkward silences. Well, there was a lot of him just looking at me and not saying anything. It made me a bit uncomfortable but I tried my best not to say anything. Eventually I asked if he wanted to watch TV and we watched 2 episodes of Friends.

Then we went to get ready for bed and he *finally* commented on my outfit - he'd been staring all night but not saying a thing. He just said: "so is that a new bra?" I said yes, and he said "I can kind of see it through your top a little" and walked out of the room. Lol! (It was a sheer top, so not see through, but if you looked closely you could see)

I got in bed and he came to say good night. He looked at me like he was going to kiss me but didn't (his usual good night then).

I decided then to apologise; I have NEVER apologised for any of my part in the lead up to BD and after much discussion here and with my coach decided to say something brief. So I just looked at him and said "I want to apologise, I realise now that I was very critical in the past and I'm sorry for that and how that must have been for you. It wasn't deserved, because I think you are a great person." He just looked at me, blinked and said "you weren't critical. Well, I don't think so. I don't remember you being particularly critical, were you?"

I just said "I think maybe I was, I thought perhaps I made you feel like you weren't doing things right or good enough". He just said, again, he didn't think so.

Then it somehow turned into us holding each other for about 20 minutes and just saying how amazing the other person was. (Weird!) I said again I thought he was a great person, and he just kept saying "I'm not, I"m really not." Then he started telling me "you're the loveliest and kindest person I know" and kept repeating that over and over.

He told me "you're a better person than me" and I said "that's not true. But anyway it's not a competition" He looked at me in wonder, like he'd never thought of that before, and said "oh you're right, it's not." That was really odd!

Then he abruptly said "I have to go, I've got an erection from seeing you in that bra" and stood up and went into the hallway and said good night. I was like "what on earth are you talking about? That was ages ago that I was wearing it" and he just mumbled something, and hugged me. We kissed each other on the cheek and said good night, but he kept pressing it against me.

Ok, so the next part is not by the books, and I know I went off script but I was enjoying teasing and then I remembered the script Starsky posted to me after the last time we ML, I didn't follow it exactly but I tried to bring it back there in the end (after I got a *little* sidetracked).

So, after we kissed each other on the cheek and said good night, he was sort of up against a wall and holding me, so I pinned him to the wall, kissed him passionately and then just said "night then" and walked away and closed the door behind me.

He came into the bedroom after me a minute later asking "oh do you know where my phone is? Did I leave it in here? I don't know where it is, I'll check the other room."

He caught sight of my new bra on the dresser (which he'd previously only sort of seen through my top) as he was leaving the bedroom and said "wow, it's so pretty".
I looked him in the eye and said "if you think it looked nice under my top wow you should have seen how it looked on its own" and then shut the door in his face. (Maybe it was wrong to do that, but that felt absolutely frickin AMAZING)

He opened the door again after a few seconds and said "what? maybe you can show me...?" and I went over and pushed him playfully out the door saying "no, no, now that would be naughty. go get your drunk bum in bed." He just said "ok, I'm going to the sofa...but don't come into the living room for at least a few minutes..."

THAT WAS SO HARD! I really wanted to ML! But it did feel pretty d@mn amazing shutting the door in his face. Not sure if I messed up by going so far off script but I did try to remember it.