V, have you thought about how you will handle if H pledges to change and begs you to come back?
it is an interesting question Z. I am sure he will, I am told that abusers will do this as part of an abuse cycle. Create a 'honeymoon' period in order to manipulate to regain control. This probably will happen at some stage, as H did with his GA, went for 18 months then decided it was not for him. It is appeasement, but every time the abuse cycle deepens, unless the abuser gets real help and stays in a 12 step program. As I am free from codependency then H is likely to go for a 'softer' target than V. I expect to see an OW very soon, in a similar way to Gg H. It is a temporary fix for H. There is also a special program for abusers in Surrey and H may be a candidate for that.
Are you prepared for this?
I know this will happen and I have to trust that I am strong enough. It helps that the VSC said "enforcing your boundaries is very good, and can be effective, but this has gone beyond this. Your H is escalating and it is dangerous, he can either go one of two ways depression or rage. This is risky and we prefer presentation for you.'
I am sure you are in good hands with your counselors and other support groups and you certainly sound like you're in a good place right now.
I am safe. The locks on the door has been changed and today I had a chain put on it. This is my safe haven. I will be safe and remain abuse free.
Been thinking of you.
thank you Z, I return those loving thoughts.
What makes you think that might happen?
This is more for Z I think. I would thank Z for thinking this might be a possibility, I would prefer freedom and that H just lets go. Better for me but for H not so much.
And my suggestion would to believe nothing that he says and half of what he does.
At this stage I am reducing that to 10% and that is generous!
These are important questions from Z Cadet and I am considering them very carefully.
H had a visit from the Police Community Liason officer today after a call to him. They want to talk to him and they have the MP3s and texts. He is booked to see them tomorrow morning. I expect nothing to come of it, but he may get a caution. This could make him rage so I will stay away as much as possible. I have another appointment with victim support tomorrow.
This weekend I have a Ceroc weekend. I suspect the longer I leave this then the better it will be for me to detach.
I still love H and want an M and this is too big a price to pay.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
