Yeah, just cluck with sympathy when W expresses her health issues like "It can't be fun at all. Hope you'll feel better soon." That's that. Simpatico.
Be careful when talking to W about the children's emotions as it may appear as if you're guilting her about her decision to blow up the family. Remember...short, concise, and neutral comments. "W, D6 has said that she misses you. I'd be happy to set up a phone call for you two to connect. How about 8 pm? Would that work for you?"
Now...your comment about taking $$ out of her retirement account. That is part of your money too as a married couple. If, down the road, you two decide to proceed to a divorce...you'd want to bring it up with your L. In fact, I'd bring this up with your L soon and ask about it.
Mind you, I am not saying that you two will divorce....hence the word "if" in the opening statement.
