If you can, I'd suggest that you buy a BD that has a special significance for H. For me, I bought my late father a BD card with a variation of some characters from Winnie the Pooh on it as his nickname for me was "Pooh." Also I bought stickies of Pooh characters to stick inside the BD card.
My point? It shows H that only you know his interests, hobbies, and likes/dislikes. That helps job positive and happy memories of you and the M. You've been working on making small love deposits in H's bank quite successfully so keep going.
Buy some thoughtful gift for H that is meaningful for him....I bought Ms. Wonka some small tools one Xmas and she genuinely thanked me for it.
EyeTie,
Hi ya...I am Wonka. Your advice would be spot on if it is applicable to WASes who are in an active affair.
In Susana's case, there is no OW. Her H is simply unsure of how to "work" on a marriage as they've transitioned out from the honeymoon phase and into the nitty gritty of a real marriage that includes conflicts and disagreements.
As we have said to Susana in previous posts, Susana needs to be the one to change her bad patterns that cause more unnecessary conflict in the M. She's been really mindful and diligent of how her old patterns rear its old, ugly head.
In this case, we are actively working with Susana on re-attracting H back into the M. Slowly, but surely.
Our advice to Susana is to continue making deposits in H's love bank, slowly reinventing herself with new clothes and new attitude, and becoming a MUCH BETTER version of the Susana that is sexy & attractive.
In your case, your W is in a very active A with the OM so yeah...it is proper that you don't give her a BD as it would be considered pursuing.
